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pinkduc2's favorite FMLs
Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML
by youlyingjerk / 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Brian / 12/22/2009 at 9:53pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by blackedout / 10/06/2009 at 1:25am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML
by Lala / 09/10/2009 at 9:40am / Philippines (Batangas) / Animals
by FGum / 07/30/2009 at 1:56am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Kimberly / 07/25/2009 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
by Liz / 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
by embarrassed4life / 06/25/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was riding on my bike when a guy on the street shouted, "I LOVE YOU!" at me. I recently told my boyfriend I loved him, and his response was, "I don't love you but I won't treat you any differently." Perverts on the street love me, but my boyfriend doesn't. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by PiZzA_FaCe / 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, I didn't wear my contacts. Determined to prove to my friends I didn't need them, I read all the signs in sight. I couldn't read a particular one, so I began to walk closer. Suddenly I fell on my face, bruising my cheekbone. The sign said: "Caution: Watch Your Step." FML
by notexactly / 04/23/2009 at 3:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML
by jusfonzin / 04/16/2009 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
by blehhh / 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (California) / Health
by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love
- Today, is my 16 birthday. Today also marks one week my electric and water has been shut off. 6 days… Today, my fiance and I were having pretty rough sex when she screamed for me to stop. After rushing… Today, my house has an infestation of beetles. I got up during the night, so put on my slippers to…