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pinkduc2's favorite FMLs
by bacon lovers worst nightmare / 09/26/2012 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML
by icybrent94 / 08/05/2012 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Geek
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting for a bus, someone started smoking at the bus shelter, which is illegal in my city. I politely asked him to stop smoking, citing the city ordinance. He just cackled and said that if I'm so concerned about the state of my health, I should start by losing 90 pounds. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:42pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
by blueglover / 03/27/2012 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/22/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Rash / 12/06/2011 at 11:54am / United States (New York) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 1:58am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2011 at 3:42am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Katie / 06/23/2011 at 12:39pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation
- Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he… Today, my daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid… Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom…