pink_pulse

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pink_pulse

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 5589
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pink_pulse's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:15pm

pink_pulse's FML badges

Beginner

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

pink_pulse's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me she was bored. During sex. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 10:47am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been put on it. The doctor told me the only way to fix it was to have me circumcised. My mum laughed, then asked him if he had a magnifying lens to do it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 7:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML

by Jade / 02/16/2011 at 12:55am / Health

Today, my Dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 12:50am / Intimacy

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2011 at 12:14am / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML

by Ihavealisp / 02/15/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I printed out a picture of the popular girl in school as a sort of 'model' for how I wanted my hair cut. The hairdresser taped the picture to the mirror so he could see. Halfway through, my 'model' came in for an appointment. FML

by nerdychick / 02/15/2011 at 8:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

by bitchasaurusrex / 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 9:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML

by Emily Salt / 02/15/2011 at 3:34am / Intimacy

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2011 at 12:50am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

by Emily / 02/14/2011 at 3:25pm / France (Auvergne) / Love

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend how sleeping with another person is cheating. It's been three days, and almost as many fights. He still doesn't get it. FML

by anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 8:45am / United States / Intimacy