Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pink_pulse

Search for a member

pink_pulse

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4124
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pink_pulse's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:15pm

pink_pulse's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

pink_pulse's favorite FMLs

Today, I was invited to a counseling group for people with emotional problems. I brought the permission slip home for my mom to sign, only for her to accuse me of being a hypochondriacal, lazy, selfish bitch. And my friends wonder why I have problems. FML

#15091359
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (2755)

On 02/23/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by PissedAtLife (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21127) - you deserved it (41368)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, my sister and I had a bonding moment. It consisted of me plucking her chin hairs. FML

#15083681
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19962) - you deserved it (5071)

On 02/22/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Taylor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20195) - you deserved it (32089)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a picture my husband had saved on the computer. It was of me, and he had named it "Fatter". FML

#15075025
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22076) - you deserved it (11658)

On 02/22/2011 at 3:38am - love - by just great... -

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

#15063215
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24795) - you deserved it (26978)

On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said I look too ugly when I cry to do it seriously in person. FML

#15061601
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32423) - you deserved it (4340)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:59am - love - by Jules (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (4348)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I had surgery on my "girl parts" and can't have sex for six weeks. My boyfriend sees no need to spend any time with me until I heal up. FML

#15049456
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46940) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/20/2011 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Justme (woman) - United States

Today, while trying on bras in the changing room, I wanted to see what my friend's bra looked like on her. Not wishing to leave my changing room in my underwear, I wriggled under her door. When I got through, my bra had come nearly all the way down and when I tried getting back, I got stuck. FML

#15048798
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5846) - you deserved it (39771)

On 02/20/2011 at 3:15am - misc - by O.o (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49220) - you deserved it (40935)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

#15038922
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11376) - you deserved it (42537)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was having the best sex with my husband, and right when I reached climax, he shouted "Abracadabra!" FML

#15038049
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33287) - you deserved it (6702)

On 02/19/2011 at 8:12am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

#15024554
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39653) - you deserved it (4294)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: