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pink_pulse

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pink_pulse
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  • Number of visits : 3899
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28401) - you deserved it (2828)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

#17686832
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36752) - you deserved it (25389)

On 09/07/2011 at 4:51am - intimacy - by sadsadperson (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

#17686086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (6247)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:23am - health - by pottie69 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I left my book on the plane after I'd finished reading it. The flight attendant thought I'd forgotten it, so he chased me through the airport, past security, past customs, and past baggage claims. I didn't have the heart to tell him I left it on purpose. FML

#17685983
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6607) - you deserved it (35206)

On 09/07/2011 at 1:05am - work - by sad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob. It gave him a panic attack. FML

#17685496
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28569) - you deserved it (4580)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Nublet (woman) - United States

Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML

#17671695
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (9020)

On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32986) - you deserved it (4977)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (9730)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14465) - you deserved it (50665)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML

#17627394
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30999) - you deserved it (4993)

On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (3227)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

#17625753
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26166) - you deserved it (4116)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Annie (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancé changed his text message tone to a fart noise. He thinks it's hilarious and laughs every time he gets a text. He's 35 years old. FML

#17624611
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21870) - you deserved it (6599)

On 08/30/2011 at 9:28pm - love - by AMP4U - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33541) - you deserved it (13330)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I received yet more mail for my ex-fiancé. We've been broken up for nearly a year and I've told him multiple times to change his address. Getting his mail is a constant reminder that I haven't dated since. FML

#15462231
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20647) - you deserved it (4355)

On 03/24/2011 at 4:53am - love - by zks -



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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