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phoenix_k88

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phoenix_k88
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 177
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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phoenix_k88's favorite FMLs

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

#18430652
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34078) - you deserved it (11974)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:30pm - intimacy - by Rumpkis (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

#18424133
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29741) - you deserved it (3718)

On 12/04/2011 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (6179)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went to go get my driver's license, only to be told that I need a copy of my birth certificate. In order to get the copy of my birth certificate, I need a driver's license or my passport. In order to get a passport, I need a copy of my birth certificate or a drivers license. I have none. FML

#18385235
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35988) - you deserved it (3751)

On 11/29/2011 at 1:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

#18384979
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8102) - you deserved it (52506)

On 11/29/2011 at 12:21pm - misc - by seanjohn268 (man) - Canada

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

#18052574
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45473) - you deserved it (3594)

On 10/23/2011 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML

#18047798
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23693) - you deserved it (11941)

On 10/22/2011 at 5:51pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

#7415658
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6961) - you deserved it (44478)

On 01/18/2010 at 6:01am - misc - by Adrian16 (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047
1127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (526474) - you deserved it (319290)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

#69964
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37885) - you deserved it (2689)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340
894 comments

I agree, your life sucks (527193) - you deserved it (37888)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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