Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

philosophyfail

Search for a member

philosophyfail

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 February 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2961
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About philosophyfail : I'm a recent college grad with a philosophy degree... What else am I going to do?

philosophyfail's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:03pm<b>puhffft</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 1:43pm<b>RachaelJustBlah6</b> - the 05/22/2010 at 12:22pm<b>Zic</b> - the 05/21/2010 at 9:59am

philosophyfail's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of philosophyfail's badges

philosophyfail's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14818) - you deserved it (38516)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6446) - you deserved it (46867)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

#19992743
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19549) - you deserved it (4012)

On 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm - animals - by soph511 (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (2366)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

#19986172
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (3428)

On 07/26/2012 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by LOTRfail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (2014)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned why one should never insert a tampon after squeezing lemons. FML

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25329) - you deserved it (4548)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my sister, but they already knew each other from my sister's work. She's an exotic dancer. FML

#19966736
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23335) - you deserved it (2229)

On 07/21/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Closingwild - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

#19964691
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4321) - you deserved it (39190)

On 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Wexford)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I wear makeup much. Expecting him to say something about my natural beauty, I replied with an honest "no." His smiled softly, gently squeezed my shoulder, and said, "Maybe you should." FML

#19964000
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23410) - you deserved it (3115)

On 07/20/2012 at 2:23pm - love - by Taylor (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML

#19962159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10166) - you deserved it (26048)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:47am - health - by fuuuuuh - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24833) - you deserved it (5589)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (2844)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

#19910380
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18633) - you deserved it (6728)

On 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: