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philosophyfail

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philosophyfail
  • Town/Country : Mexico, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 February 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 1823
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About philosophyfail : I'm a recent college grad with a philosophy degree... What else am I going to do?

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philosophyfail's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of philosophyfail's badges

philosophyfail's favorite FMLs

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

#19899263
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20169) - you deserved it (1800)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Toilettrash (woman) - United States

Today, I still can't decide whether masturbating while looking at myself makes me narcissistic or just plain pathetic. FML

#19890601
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5697) - you deserved it (21316)

On 07/04/2012 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML

#19873141
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13098) - you deserved it (1388)

On 06/30/2012 at 9:00pm - misc - by pissed off -

Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML

#19870672
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41951) - you deserved it (1590)

On 06/30/2012 at 8:48am - health - by Jobby (woman) -

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14781) - you deserved it (2374)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (2002)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (6167)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (6167)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (1977)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided to motivate myself to workout by looking at a picture of a guy with a six-pack on my computer screen while doing abs. My dad walked in after I finished and was still breathing heavily from working out. FML

#19795313
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (4807)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:45am - misc - by NotGay (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (2878)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML

#19790692
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (10616)

On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my wife and two teenage daughters' periods are all one week after the other. I am living in hell almost every single day. FML

#19786572
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27771) - you deserved it (3479)

On 06/14/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by anonymous - China (Jiangsu)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (28901)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

#19756840
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16846) - you deserved it (1369)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:54pm - love - by SprinklerDodger (man) - Denmark (Syddanmark)



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