About philosophyfail : I'm a recent college grad with a philosophy degree... What else am I going to do?
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17525) - you deserved it (1833)
On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17110) - you deserved it (16430)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (2037)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5717) - you deserved it (26820)
On 09/19/2012 at 5:27am - love - by pussyface96 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (2183)
On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17657) - you deserved it (1404)
On 09/15/2012 at 1:35am - intimacy - by anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (3206)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20363) - you deserved it (5241)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23598) - you deserved it (1574)
On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16685) - you deserved it (3460)
On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12478) - you deserved it (15245)
On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9031) - you deserved it (29042)
On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)
Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15986) - you deserved it (3254) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/31/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by TBTC (woman) - France (Pays de la Loire)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (4389)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19482) - you deserved it (2465)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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