About philosophyfail : I'm a recent college grad with a philosophy degree... What else am I going to do?
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14225) - you deserved it (2948)
On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26422) - you deserved it (7163)
On 12/14/2012 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by sucks at sucking (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)
Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (1489)
On 12/14/2012 at 1:44am - health - by mysidesaresplitting - United States (Michigan)
Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (1604)
On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (1637) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/12/2012 at 12:29am - love - by Karim - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I was getting intimate with my current bootycall when he thought it would be funny to make animal sounds. He "baa-ed" "moo-ed" and "gobbled" until losing his erection from intense laughter, leaving me there very confused and unsatisfied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16584) - you deserved it (5808)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by Bug5992 (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (50252)
On 12/09/2012 at 11:57am - intimacy - by SamWGovan (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (14574)
On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13085) - you deserved it (3650)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9464) - you deserved it (19031)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (2247)
On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (1147)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (4303)
On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States
Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12636) - you deserved it (2741)
On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29636) - you deserved it (2075)
On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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