Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

philosophyfail

Search for a member

philosophyfail

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 12 February 1987 (27 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2698
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About philosophyfail : I'm a recent college grad with a philosophy degree... What else am I going to do?

philosophyfail's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:03pm<b>puhffft</b> - the 05/27/2010 at 1:43pm<b>RachaelJustBlah6</b> - the 05/22/2010 at 12:22pm<b>Zic</b> - the 05/21/2010 at 9:59am

philosophyfail's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of philosophyfail's badges

philosophyfail's favorite FMLs

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (65434)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

#20702129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44499) - you deserved it (6174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm - health - by Fuperman - France (Lorraine)

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59174) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning how to spend the day together. When I suggested we start off with some fun in bed, then get some pizza and play his favorite video game, he sighed, "Can't we just go straight to gaming?" FML

#20613403
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58213) - you deserved it (7824)

On 04/22/2013 at 4:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49466) - you deserved it (8063)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32639) - you deserved it (111380)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38139) - you deserved it (8310) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38139) - you deserved it (8310) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44500) - you deserved it (7265)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25188) - you deserved it (8431)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41086) - you deserved it (7953)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (6882)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

#20443596
151 comments

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

#20439162
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30318) - you deserved it (13394)

On 01/02/2013 at 6:38pm - misc - by Les Miserables is so sad (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: