philitron128

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philitron128

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 December 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 804
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About philitron128 : I have a surprise in my pants and it rhymes with menis...... That's right a keychain!

philitron128's page activity

Visits<b>Dale_shackleford</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 6:05pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:51am<b>khloelpcn</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:44pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 5:12pm<b>douglas423</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 12:28am<b>ApexReaper</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 2:59am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 5:16am<b>Blondie7347</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 2:36am<b>missalice0306</b> - the 05/13/2012 at 8:03am<b>bravo6310</b> - the 10/01/2011 at 6:09pm<b>mc6r4th_2</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 1:16pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 07/29/2011 at 11:41pm

philitron128's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

philitron128's favorite FMLs

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

by uh-oh / 03/25/2012 at 1:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML

by notfatanymore / 11/13/2011 at 3:50pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

by bubba / 10/17/2011 at 6:02am / China / Love

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

by Emily / 08/21/2011 at 12:54am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

by jakethed0g / 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Holidays

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

by tony456 / 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

by Sam / 06/24/2011 at 12:46am / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I watched my boss try to stick a magnet to cardboard. FML

by MegaBear / 06/15/2011 at 1:46am / United States / Work

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

by kringr / 06/05/2011 at 8:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

by zain / 06/04/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health