Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

philipino

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

philipino

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 September 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2168
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About philipino : I'm really sarcastic, and I play soccer and basketball.

Surprise I'm bi and goodbye
If you send me a joke I'll give you a high five

philipino's page activity

Visits<b>woainishamu</b> - 10 hours ago<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - 22 hours ago<b>S232Flash</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 9:14pm<b>Chente_313</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:44pm<b>gokuisthename</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 5:11pm<b>fairydust7</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 10:00am<b>Malcazar</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 1:47am<b>tourbo411</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:46pm<b>tengo</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 10:08pm<b>gabix3</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 8:35pm<b>straightpride</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:36am<b>Preposterous</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:06am<b>osnapitsalexx</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:27am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 12:55am<b>minimanion</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 10:55pm<b>cjspenny</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:56pm<b>totallybananas</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:38pm<b>mathen</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:02pm

philipino's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of philipino's badges

philipino's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33754) - you deserved it (2891)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39699) - you deserved it (2650)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19967) - you deserved it (42207)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I hooked up with a girl at a club, and we had sex. She just lay there like a corpse the whole time. It got so bad, I ended up faking an orgasm and blaming the lack of semen on a botched vasectomy. She actually believed it. What the hell? FML

#21235982
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39557) - you deserved it (9149)

On 08/12/2014 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

#21202569
140 comments

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

#21180841
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40928) - you deserved it (9225)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by fuckmyjob (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML

#21179835
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54478) - you deserved it (5059)

On 06/18/2014 at 9:14pm - misc - by guest - United States (California)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49990) - you deserved it (8390)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I took a look at my 9-year-old daughter's diary, thinking it would be full of cute stuff. Instead, it was full of hateful rants against me and my husband, as well the boys at her school, who she called gay because none of them ever hit on her. It seems I've failed as a parent. FML

#21171186
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44319) - you deserved it (17919)

On 06/11/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48270) - you deserved it (5098)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML

#21149883
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (33015)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58806) - you deserved it (5035)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

#21123743
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40007) - you deserved it (6715)

On 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by caught out - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: