About phatdaddy62 : An old Fart, compared to most of you.
Yes, Zeppelin Rocks!
Yeah - that's me!
And one of those FML's got published!
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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
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Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29856) - you deserved it (3683)
On 05/31/2011 at 8:44am - health - by mrsekko - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52261) - you deserved it (9882)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36240) - you deserved it (7002)
On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (4374)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (15864)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11408) - you deserved it (29585)
On 04/08/2011 at 1:31am - love - by Payte -
Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43187) - you deserved it (4124)
On 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28671) - you deserved it (34810)
On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)
Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26488) - you deserved it (5025)
On 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm - health - by Amy - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (2806)
On 03/27/2011 at 1:55pm - health - by hellosir - United States
Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23031) - you deserved it (7613)
On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (4510)
On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia
Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16141) - you deserved it (27052)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger than my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42081) - you deserved it (8153)
On 03/07/2011 at 1:16am - health - by tinygirl -
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31826) - you deserved it (2975)
On 03/05/2011 at 8:42pm - health - by nick (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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