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phalacee

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phalacee

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 334
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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phalacee's favorite FMLs

Today , grlfriend compard penis to an ewok from Star Wars!! She says it's short , stubby , an fuzzy!! Now she sings the Star Wars themehen we hang out!! FML

#15817034
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44123) - you deserved it (8466)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband an I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter an cummed out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53299) - you deserved it (23700)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder an slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up an grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27410) - you deserved it (8027)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

yesterday I tried to cuddle Simon, mah five year old son. He wriggled away an said: "If u need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or fine another Simon!" FML

#697
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26933) - you deserved it (3073)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly askd 4 the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter cummd back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19626) - you deserved it (7027)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was reading the end of mah book. I turn the page an see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from mah sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML

#594
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (6130)

On 12/25/2008 at 7:57am - misc - by poupi - Sent from mobile version

Yesterday, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed mah luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda."hich earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

#510
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (58258)

On 12/14/2008 at 12:15am - misc - by Behemoth2 - Sent from mobile version



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