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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband an I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter an cummed out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder an slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up an grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly askd 4 the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter cummd back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
Today, I was reading the end of mah book. I turn the page an see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from mah sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML
Yesterday, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed mah luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda."hich earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML
Friday 27 March 2015