Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pewp

Search for a member

pewp

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10969
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pewp's page activity

Visits<b>slimblack</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:30pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:46am<b>cosmicgreen</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 6:34am<b>chey5295</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 2:12pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 12:02pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 6:39pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 12:40am<b>chinesechicken</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 1:45am<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 8:35am<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 1:21am<b>sunshine_222</b> - the 04/01/2009 at 4:48pm<b>jtbby</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 7:01pm

pewp's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pewp's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

#2200863
540 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213356) - you deserved it (23011)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML

#2175107
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12029) - you deserved it (43685)

On 05/22/2009 at 8:09am - work - by bigblue51 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33131) - you deserved it (144574)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was coaching a little league soccer game. I was telling one of my players to go cover another kid. I said "go cover the little yellow kid!" because he happened to be wearing a yellow shirt. He also happened to be Asian. I then got death stares from his family members. FML

#2009898
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57857) - you deserved it (21646)

On 05/17/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28870) - you deserved it (85967)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working my job as a cashier, one of the customers that came to the register was a midget. As part of store policy, I had to ID him, and his driver's license said he was from Florida. So I asked, without catching myself, "How's the weather down there?" FML

#1793303
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30343) - you deserved it (47896)

On 05/09/2009 at 10:05pm - work - by Failoffel (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML

#1749459
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138995) - you deserved it (14125)

On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

#1259659
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16905) - you deserved it (47757)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (37017)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was hanging out with this guy I've been trying to get for four months. I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. I walked out, glad that I was quiet about it. Ten minutes later, my mom walks out of the same bathroom and goes "Honey, you need to spray after you make a stinky" FML

#1213671
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55288) - you deserved it (5161)

On 04/22/2009 at 12:37am - misc - by stanky (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35629) - you deserved it (93049)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (124510) - you deserved it (7234)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML

#963370
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18234) - you deserved it (65229)

On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: