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pewp

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  • Number of visits : 10809
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pewp's page activity

Visits<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 12:46am<b>cosmicgreen</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 6:34am<b>chey5295</b> - the 04/17/2013 at 2:12pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 11/02/2009 at 12:02pm<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 6:39pm<b>sdouaji</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 12:40am<b>chinesechicken</b> - the 05/09/2009 at 1:45am<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/06/2009 at 8:35am<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 1:21am<b>sunshine_222</b> - the 04/01/2009 at 4:48pm<b>jtbby</b> - the 03/20/2009 at 7:01pm

pewp's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pewp's favorite FMLs

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97578) - you deserved it (5535)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

#3376550
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41139) - you deserved it (17751)

On 06/30/2009 at 8:14pm - intimacy - by SimpleSimon (man) - United Kingdom (Herefordshire)

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15183) - you deserved it (49014)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on my honeymoon to Hawaii. My family decided to surprise my new husband and I by joining us on our vacation. FML

#3345356
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78388) - you deserved it (2897)

On 06/29/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by marriedwithfamily (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94362) - you deserved it (19952)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

#2736001
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78291) - you deserved it (5080)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML

#2730448
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10256) - you deserved it (45959)

On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83722) - you deserved it (20376)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doc inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML

#2715001
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66181) - you deserved it (6324)

On 06/08/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by prostate (man) - United States (California)

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

#2682803
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12491) - you deserved it (72022)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62682) - you deserved it (4983)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18108) - you deserved it (55560)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (61285)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband of ten years was playing the Sims. I asked him about the house he built. Apparently, it was his dream house, and he recreated himself as a Sim so he could live in it. Then I asked him where the wife was. There was no wife. It was his happy place. FML

#2464746
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48632) - you deserved it (9610)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Poland (Katowice)



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