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pewp
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  • Number of visits : 10671
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pewp's favorite FMLs

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33844) - you deserved it (3397)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

#4903891
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11053) - you deserved it (60043)

On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55370) - you deserved it (11851)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

#4054233
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (17138)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm - health - by mobster (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8662) - you deserved it (76981)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

#4050970
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (67257)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (5139)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44268) - you deserved it (4753)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

#3949576
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44797) - you deserved it (15082)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (58224)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55884) - you deserved it (6787)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

#3509124
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10098) - you deserved it (59431)

On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

#3494864
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (3630)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

#3474895
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59566) - you deserved it (11398)

On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)



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