[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

pewp

Search for a member

pewp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10066
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pewp's last visitors

kayla_f_babyyyjtbby

pewp's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

pewp's favorite FMLs

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

#4909892 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (3186)

On 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm - work - by newguy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

#4903891 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (8927) - you deserved it (46551)

On 08/29/2009 at 11:13am - love - by coolhand (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (50094) - you deserved it (9422)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was really mad at me and I was driving her to the grocery store. As she was coming out, I decided to be a good daughter and drive right up to the door so she doesn't have to walk to the car. I ran her over. FML

#4299527 (279)

I agree, your life sucks (34929) - you deserved it (16824)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

#4054233 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (25894) - you deserved it (13410)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm - health - by mobster (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (6861) - you deserved it (58677)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML

#4050970 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (18276) - you deserved it (51886)

On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

#4044243 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (40414) - you deserved it (5031)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

#4001107 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (3867)

On 07/24/2009 at 7:39am - misc - by umbrella (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (38343) - you deserved it (3607)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

#3949576 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (38298) - you deserved it (11002)

On 07/22/2009 at 5:48am - misc - by Mortified (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML

#3866065 (289)

I agree, your life sucks (20067) - you deserved it (44404)

On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

#3600725 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (49225) - you deserved it (5207)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:17am - love - by hatboxghost (man) - United States

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

#3509124 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (9020) - you deserved it (47212)

On 07/05/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by colorblind (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML

#3494864 (97)

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (2595)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States