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pernicious_pink's favorite FMLs
Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML
by Mortifiedcharityworker / 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm / Austria / Work
Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML
by Felicityfrank / 05/01/2014 at 10:17am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals
by Anonymous / 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by nh-Amazon / 04/27/2014 at 7:01pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was walking around school alone and felt someone tap my back. I laughed and turned around to find no one was there. I felt confused when I felt the tapping again, which is when I chose to yell at the nearest person, "What?!" I later found out it was a bottle in my backpack tapping me. FML
by ohmygod582 / 04/13/2014 at 9:32pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
by dani / 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML
by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by holyshitsnacks / 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/12/2014 at 2:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by ashamed father / 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML
by cunning glassist / 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by lacy / 03/01/2014 at 3:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
- Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML Today, I was having sex and wanted to move to the wall, so I picked her up, got my foot stuck in my… Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed…