permannator

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permannator

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1211
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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permannator's page activity

Visits<b>Tripartita</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:50pm<b>3visions</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 5:20pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:27pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 9:18am<b>TulipCat</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 3:46am<b>da_directioner39</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 1:32am<b>Brandonep2013</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 2:55am<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 04/05/2013 at 1:17am<b>courtney680</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 9:24pm<b>bambi1989</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 3:48am<b>Zack6849</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 5:14pm<b>upallnight11</b> - the 03/16/2013 at 3:59pm

permannator's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of permannator's badges

permannator's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got tasered by a cop. It was his second day on the job. My crime? Sneezing during a sobriety test. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work