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permannator's FML badges
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
permannator's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
by Cracky / 11/27/2012 at 9:32am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals
by chrisbravo / 08/23/2012 at 2:54am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health
by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
by Alyssa / 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML
by neednewdeoderant / 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML
by Notadrinkanddriveidiot / 12/07/2011 at 9:46am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Work
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me…