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peoplearecreepy

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peoplearecreepy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML

#19768681
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25254) - you deserved it (9097)

On 06/11/2012 at 1:25am - love - by thanksnicksparks (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to one of my hamsters cannibalizing the other. FML

#18984075
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (4472)

On 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm - animals - by deadhamster - United States

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34630) - you deserved it (5269)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I sit here in agonizing pain because of a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress this incredible back pain. Looks like I can't take any. My mom has hidden them from me because she THINKS I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor were here. FML

#13363376
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31629) - you deserved it (2312)

On 10/08/2010 at 6:31am - health - by lmastr64 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45492) - you deserved it (4884)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a weird feeling about the account balance in my savings account. Turns out my fiancé has been using my account to order random items whenever he likes. This account is my savings for college tuition and related expenses. FML

#13360186
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23698) - you deserved it (4788)

On 10/07/2010 at 10:58pm - money - by udnrizh - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32948) - you deserved it (3826)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

#13094289
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (2891)

On 09/18/2010 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22712) - you deserved it (6531)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML

#13045293
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (9506)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States

Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML

#12990617
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (2874)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26881) - you deserved it (12163)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML

#12984210
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24408) - you deserved it (4793)

On 09/09/2010 at 11:15pm - misc - by higagram (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (470741) - you deserved it (29102)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)



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