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peoplearecreepy's favorite FMLs
Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML
by fordneagles / 06/11/2012 at 1:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
by thanksnicksparks / 06/11/2012 at 1:25am / United States / Love
by deadhamster / 02/03/2012 at 1:29pm / United States / Animals
Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I sit here in agonizing pain because of a scoliosis surgery. I have a bunch of painkillers that I need to suppress this incredible back pain. Looks like I can't take any. My mom has hidden them from me because she THINKS I need to be taken off them. I wish my doctor were here. FML
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health
Today, I got a weird feeling about the account balance in my savings account. Turns out my fiancé has been using my account to order random items whenever he likes. This account is my savings for college tuition and related expenses. FML
by udnrizh / 10/07/2010 at 10:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Money
Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML
by huj / 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Money
by huwauw / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
by tickyette / 09/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States / Love
Today, at school, everybody wanted to be my partner for a project. This surprised me because nobody ever wants to be with me. Turns out when I was absent, my teacher promised that whoever was my partner would get extra points on the project. FML
by anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 2:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Me / 09/10/2010 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by higagram / 09/09/2010 at 11:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…