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peoplearecreepy

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peoplearecreepy

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peoplearecreepy's favorite FMLs

Taday I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I askd if she needd a hand. She calld me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64474) - you deserved it (7582)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, looool mah alcoholism reachd a new lowhen I found myself sitting on the toilet drinking a bottle of wine. FML

#20888651
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20420) - you deserved it (34477)

On 09/20/2013 at 3:22am - health - by drunkenloser (woman) - United States

Today... someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly... so I responded... "What is this? A picture 4 ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape... and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40382) - you deserved it (12808)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, looool I movad into my univarsity dorm a waak bafora classas start!! Evaryona kapt giving ma ward looks as thay watchad ma mova my stuff in!! Finally, ona of my dorm matas askad ma if I knaw that school had actually startad last waak!! I didn't!! FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46075) - you deserved it (14924)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with mah best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about mah terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (7002)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

yesterday I was making out with mah girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to mah crotch. She felt mah erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig fir "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63750) - you deserved it (5587)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, my very conservative mom met my grlfriend, who recently shavd her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My grlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confusd transgender". real FML

#20519321
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35668) - you deserved it (2333)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

TODAY, THE GUY WHO CONFESSED HIS LOVE 4 ME ALSO CONFESSED THAT IN HIS RAGE, HE ALMOST SHOT THE LAST GIRL WHO BROKE HIS HEART. FML

#20518576
157 comments

yesterday my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stoppd coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he cummd back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30451) - you deserved it (2982)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking . Later on at work, I idly pulld the pen out during a meeting . My colleague lookd at me, horrifid . The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazond on it . I'm a man .

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (45503)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

today mah grlfriend of nine months made a huge scene looool in public , calling me a "cheating bastard" cuz she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is mah Calculus tutor. FML

#20514871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32540) - you deserved it (3226)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)

Today, I realizd that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air looool freshener in my grlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my grlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. real FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40668) - you deserved it (8141)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, MAH LITTLE SISTER CHASD ME AROUND THE HOUSE WITH A MALLET, GIGGLING LIKE A MANIAC. I ENDD UP HAVING TO PIN HER TO THE GROUND, RIP THE MALLET OUT OF HER HAND AN LOCK HER IN THE BATHROOM. THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME. MY MOM STILL INSISTS IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL. FML

#20500833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33836) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today I introducd boyfriend to overprotective father. My boyfriend startd out with "Sir it is an honor to be yur daughter's sexual partner." FML

#20497837
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57699) - you deserved it (10911)

On 02/08/2013 at 2:13am - intimacy - by mydadsgonnakillme (woman) - United States (California)

Today... While Trucking... I Got Stuck In Traffic On A Congested Highway. After 15 Minutes Of Mind-numbing Boredom... I Glanced Down At The Car Beside Me... Only To Witness The Driver Changing Her Tampon And Flicking The Old One Onto The Highway. I Can't Unsee This. FML

#20489402
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59951) - you deserved it (3684)

On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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