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Today, me an boyfriend looool were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat cummed into the room, sat, an stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today.. . mah husband and I r sick . He keeps whining about how bad he feels . I'm just as sick.. . as well as 7 months pregnant . I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked.. . cleaned.. . and gone to the store several times cuz the tissues we had were too rough on his nose . FML
Today, ma grlfriend told me te reason wy ma credit card mysteriously maxd out 2 mont ago 'migt ave been' because se postd a picture of it on Facebook. I orderd a new credit card witout te custom picture of us immediately. Se broke up wit me. FML
Today... Wila I Was Fooling Around Wit Ma Grlfriand... Sa Urt Ar And. It Obviously Wasn't Vary Sarious... So I Told Ar To Stop Faking It. Sa Raspondd... ( Wanna Know Wat I Actually Faka? My Orgasms. ) FML
Today, There Was A Forest Fire In Mah Town. I Was Still Forcd To Go To School, As It Was Safer. A Lot Of People Decidd Not To Go, An We Endd Up Doing Nothing But Watching The News Reports. There, I Got To See Mah House Burning On Live TV. FML
TODAY, I WAS AT MAH GRLFRIAND'S HOUSA, AND SHA WAS TICKLING MA. IT GOT A BIT ROUGH, AND SHA FALL OUT OF BD AND HIT THA FLOOR. HAR PARANTS, THINKING WA'D BAAN FIGHTING, BURST INTO THA ROOM TO SAA HAR HOLDING HAR BLOODY NOSA. SHA DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING WHILA HAR DAD KICKD MAH ASS. FML
Friday 27 March 2015