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peoplearecreepy's favorite FMLs
by mylifesucks / 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm / Intimacy
Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML
by CatBlock / 01/31/2014 at 1:16am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Work
by Estee1024 / 01/24/2014 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Kids
by MarBlu / 01/23/2014 at 7:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, my husband and I are sick. He keeps whining about how bad he feels. I'm just as sick, as well as 7 months pregnant. I've not only been taking care of his whiny ass: I've cooked, cleaned, and gone to the store several times because the tissues we had were too rough on his nose. FML
by AnonWife / 01/21/2014 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Health
Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML
by FacebookStrikesAgain / 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm / Puerto Rico / Love
by sickmom / 01/21/2014 at 6:07am / United States (Louisiana) / Kids
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by unicorn_skies / 01/18/2014 at 3:33am / United States (California) / Money
Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML
by Fire sucks. / 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
by ===== / 01/14/2014 at 12:59pm / Pakistan (Sindh) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
by innocent / 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.…