About peachapple : Hey. Getting friendzoned sucks.
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peachapple's favorite FMLs
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by sarah6786 / 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
by blank / 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Transportation
by lesson.learned / 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Love
Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy bears explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by normal / 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Miscellaneous
Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
by airbiscuit / 01/21/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
by black and yellow / 01/21/2013 at 1:32am / United States (California) / Love
by airrinw_33 / 01/20/2013 at 10:55pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML
by megean c.l. / 01/20/2013 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML
by maybe dead in a day / 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I… Today, while having hot sex with my boyfriend, I was experiencing my very first orgasm. Right when… Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway.…