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peachapple's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, while baking, I was joined by my roommate who doesn't really cook. I was making a batch of dough and she volunteered to help. After showing her how to knead, she really got into it. Afterwards, I asked why she wanted to help. "It really cleans my nails", she said. FML
by 4_and_20_blackbits / 08/26/2013 at 4:38am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
by pda / 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML
by cpmolly / 08/24/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML
by Hannahb17 / 08/23/2013 at 6:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML
by fucking financial ruin / 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 10:29am / United States / Love
by NotInterested / 08/23/2013 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by thanksad / 08/22/2013 at 9:38pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by twatstick / 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
by shut_up / 08/21/2013 at 10:08am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML
by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML
by nice guys finish last / 08/20/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a group presentation. I kept zipping my jacket up and down nervously. As I waited for my turn, I realized a bunch of classmates staring at me. I forgot that in the morning rush, I only put on a jacket. I only had a bra on underneath. FML
by xxSecretAngelxx / 08/19/2013 at 2:35pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…
- Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call… Today, after getting stressed out by my parents having a serious fight for hours, I'm now listening… Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly…