About pdHbq : ~~~~~Random jokes and stuff:~~~~~
~(These have nothing to do with me)~
=============================
POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN…
Police have nothing to go on!
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I still miss my ex – But guess what? My
aim is getting better!
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I was lying in bed staring at the stars,
when I suddenly thought...
Where the hell is the ceiling?!!??
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Friends are like snowflakes;
when you piss on them they dissapear
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10017) - you deserved it (34391)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9481) - you deserved it (19919)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (4128)
On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19270) - you deserved it (2097)
On 12/19/2011 at 1:01pm - misc - by This girl (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, thanks to some asshole with a padlock, I got trapped in porta potty for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you deserved it (1739)
On 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by stinkyhair (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7900) - you deserved it (51308)
On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, my boyfriend proposed. I fainted due to the excitement. He took it as a "no" and won't pick up my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27700) - you deserved it (2925)
On 12/18/2011 at 7:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13166) - you deserved it (30774)
On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25786) - you deserved it (1784)
Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (1581)
On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States
Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (2018)
On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25491) - you deserved it (4489) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I found out the hard way what it sounds like when you take the first letter of my first name, A, and put it with my last name, Hole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17674) - you deserved it (2471)
Friday 24 May 2013
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