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patriot09

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patriot09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 August 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 734
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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patriot09's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34581) - you deserved it (48558)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

#14298065
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10115) - you deserved it (45384)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11884) - you deserved it (45777)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend started to plan our wedding. He included a clown. FML

#11027844
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (7514)

On 06/07/2010 at 2:43am - love - by soccerbooty - United States (Texas)

Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML

#7448210
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36645) - you deserved it (13003)

On 01/19/2010 at 10:59pm - misc - by NYCguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was studying for one of my finals that I had later in the week but decided to take a break and play around with my boyfriend in bed for a couple hours. We decided to 69 for the first time, and everything was going great until out of nowhere, I loudly farted in his face. FML

#6753336
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22416) - you deserved it (9381)

On 12/14/2009 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Gassy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML

#6677904
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43471) - you deserved it (20827)

On 12/09/2009 at 8:27am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML

#5872159
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (3250)

On 10/17/2009 at 10:25pm - love - by userrrrr - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with U2 tickets. Still no action. FML

#5441103
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12158) - you deserved it (27344)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by loveless (man) - United States (New York)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

#5187639
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51363) - you deserved it (3093)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

#4945684
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (13686)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 14 year old daughter told me she's pregnant. I work as a public speaker for promoting celibacy and safe sex. FML

#4685696
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54488) - you deserved it (41268)

On 08/20/2009 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by younggrammy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally told my mom I am a lesbian. She started laughing and said 'Good one honey'. I told her I wasn't joking, and she took my face in her hands and said 'You ARE joking!' Then she left. FML

#4465464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62022) - you deserved it (9112)

On 08/12/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38510) - you deserved it (64407)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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