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patriot09

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patriot09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 796
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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patriot09's favorite FMLs

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52302) - you deserved it (10702)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

#18661224
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26245) - you deserved it (5945)

On 12/31/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37550) - you deserved it (3091)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

#18139418
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29268) - you deserved it (5155)

On 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51859) - you deserved it (16561)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25731) - you deserved it (6094)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46519) - you deserved it (3582)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (11713)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55680) - you deserved it (5494)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

#17211099
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (3700)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by oliverP123 - United States (New York)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14496) - you deserved it (63522)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49170) - you deserved it (14545)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20284) - you deserved it (52311)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML

#16879378
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60627) - you deserved it (7459)

On 06/27/2011 at 9:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73302) - you deserved it (3782)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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