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patriot09

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patriot09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 August 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 733
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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patriot09's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74694) - you deserved it (8757)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44401) - you deserved it (3878)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40671) - you deserved it (3857)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML

#19759587
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24241) - you deserved it (1815)

On 06/09/2012 at 9:54am - health - by WTF (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML

#19642292
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27708) - you deserved it (2948)

On 05/18/2012 at 3:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend about cheating on me. Her response was that it's not cheating since she is getting paid. FML

#19583870
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39413) - you deserved it (4196)

On 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm - intimacy - by madseason (man) - United States

Today, my apartment was robbed by my landlord. Her logic? "I own the building, and therefore everything in it." That TV cost more than my rent. FML

#19572629
267 comments

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

#19472995
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37608) - you deserved it (2734)

On 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by jonasister (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

#19299263
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7953) - you deserved it (41155)

On 03/18/2012 at 7:41am - love - by Austin Franklin - United States

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

#19264925
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21526) - you deserved it (3535)

On 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by dumbfriend - United States

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

#19239456
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14358) - you deserved it (49835)

On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36304) - you deserved it (2647)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54927) - you deserved it (4223)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (3369)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States



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