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patebishop

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  • Number of visits : 3252
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>dc120994</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 1:55am<b>Ahriismine5ever</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 1:15am<b>Queensland</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:17pm<b>madrid201</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 5:08pm<b>theSilent23</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:40am<b>Star1398</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:10am<b>ArmyEmma</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:54pm<b>touch_the_sky_77</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:46pm<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:03pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 11:41pm<b>Decepticus</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 11:18pm<b>footbowl</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:22am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 10:00pm<b>myzteria</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:19pm<b>xxnick2dmaxx</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:44am<b>fobgirl10171</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:11am<b>Yodamine34</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:09am<b>CaiDog</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:36pm

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34856) - you deserved it (3163)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29344) - you deserved it (8002)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31462) - you deserved it (3702)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (9893)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52341) - you deserved it (3856)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I said to my wife that I wished I had met her 20 years ago. Her response was, "Twenty years ago I had beautiful tits and many options, I wouldn't have even looked at you." FML

#14140918
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40820) - you deserved it (5215)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by prinzess (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

#14128362
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29311) - you deserved it (5408)

On 12/08/2010 at 3:46am - intimacy - by fishruinsex -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

#14104708
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34656) - you deserved it (2725)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a schedule in my dorm room that I share with three other guys. Looking at it closer I realized it was my schedule with notes written in all around it. My roommates have planned their entire days around mine so we won't have any interaction at all. I thought we got along great. FML

#14075452
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22322) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/03/2010 at 8:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35502) - you deserved it (9651)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML

#14050181
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40294) - you deserved it (3038)

On 12/01/2010 at 6:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized I've been driving for almost two years and still get excited when I park between the lines on my first try. FML

#14017590
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (18210)

On 11/28/2010 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML

#13975253
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30323) - you deserved it (2718)

On 11/25/2010 at 1:33pm - misc - by blenderbookf (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, whilst driving to the store, an idiot driver found it to be okay to drive ridiculously fast in below freezing temperatures on the ice and snow. As he passed my car, I angrily gave him the finger. And then I realized I was wearing mittens. FML

Today, I realized that 95% of my facebook friends added me only because they think my sisters are hot. FML

#13944368
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29005) - you deserved it (4039)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:22am - misc - by smallfrie32 -



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