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patebishop

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patebishop
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2516
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML

#14993502
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (1804)

On 02/15/2011 at 8:13pm - misc - by Nearis (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I received my first wedding present in the mail. I opened it immediately and called the sender to say thanks. She yelled at me for opening it and, because she shipped it to me by mistake, requested it back. FML

#14964211
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (2659)

On 02/13/2011 at 9:22pm - misc - by bride2be (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53433) - you deserved it (4132)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that standing next to a hobo doesn't make me look better in comparison, but instead just makes me seem like a hobo as well. FML

#14862794
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7992) - you deserved it (24131)

On 02/06/2011 at 2:37am - money - by 7rafe7 (man) - United States

Today, at my job as a cashier, a very old man came through my checkout. His purchase consisted of a box of condoms and a can of whipped cream. The creepy smile he gave me has scarred me for life. FML

#14789249
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by yournick (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, the company I applied for called up congratulating me in getting the job. I was ecstatic. Quickly enough I texted a few mates that I'd got the job. Twenty minutes later they called again saying the trainee had accidentally called the wrong applicant. FML

#14786523
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25928) - you deserved it (2311)

On 01/31/2011 at 10:44am - misc - by kkkk -

Today, my friend installed this new application that shows you what a girl would look like as a boy and what a boy would look like as a girl. Well I'm a girl and when it was my turn it didn't change. FML

#14772797
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24416) - you deserved it (4184)

On 01/30/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by boylookingirl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

#14753081
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49999) - you deserved it (4094)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by FamilySecret - United States

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

#14743872
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10374) - you deserved it (36520)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML

#14719810
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (3129)

On 01/26/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by 123roomielover (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML

#14705943
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (2923)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Korea Republic of (Ulsan-gwangyoksi)

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (44138)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

#14672798
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (44138)

On 01/22/2011 at 11:04am - intimacy - by mortified (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML

#14669069
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (4808)

On 01/22/2011 at 12:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8890) - you deserved it (30530)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



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