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patebishop

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  • Number of visits : 3208
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

#16579288
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14763) - you deserved it (56249)

On 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

#16542323
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12201) - you deserved it (40209)

On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

#16515986
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (7033)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (51911)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML

#16480333
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43472) - you deserved it (4587)

On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML

#16480060
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (3185)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (13103)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51264) - you deserved it (4579)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15329) - you deserved it (57032)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13109) - you deserved it (63841)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (7687)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (7687)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

#16218945
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47023) - you deserved it (7687)

On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML

#16158783
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33814) - you deserved it (2651)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by samadams42 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42484) - you deserved it (17739)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States



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