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Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9253) - you deserved it (34656)
On 06/07/2011 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Kate (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24885) - you deserved it (5583)
On 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm - love - by Jakub89 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16625) - you deserved it (38913)
On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)
Today, my dad came round to the house. Looking rather pleased with himself he pulled out his phone, grinned, and chucked it over to me. I glanced at the screen to see a naked woman. He smiled and said "I tapped that last night". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (4187)
On 06/03/2011 at 6:17am - intimacy - by peaaaak (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)
Today, my sister drove past me while i was walking home in the rain, she honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30222) - you deserved it (2354)
On 06/03/2011 at 4:55am - misc - by myhairgetsfrizzywhenwet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29685) - you deserved it (9862)
On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you deserved it (4170)
On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12075) - you deserved it (43540)
On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (57905)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (6916)
On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (6916)
On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39984) - you deserved it (6916)
On 05/17/2011 at 6:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, my mom said she wanted me to get laser eye surgery before she did, "Just in case it isn't safe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28349) - you deserved it (1953)
On 05/13/2011 at 3:18pm - health - by samadams42 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35583) - you deserved it (15883)
On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States
Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10614) - you deserved it (50519)
On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Monday 17 June 2013
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