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patebishop's favorite FMLs
by fmylife7721 / 07/03/2011 at 1:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by hunter168647 / 07/02/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Georgia) / Money
Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML
by John / 06/30/2011 at 4:18am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by disgustedgf / 06/28/2011 at 3:32am / United States / Health
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by A girl / 06/27/2011 at 3:55am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Work
Today, I went to a party and we all decided to play hide-and-go-seek despite our ages. I started counting. When I was done, I started searching and after 5 minutes of searching, I found that everyone left me. FML
by TheStripedBeatle / 06/25/2011 at 9:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by alo1434 / 06/23/2011 at 4:54am / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML
by justinj360 / 06/22/2011 at 12:59am / United States (Montana) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/20/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by vampire / 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous
by randomjulz / 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm / United States / Love
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…