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patebishop

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  • Number of visits : 2868
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14213) - you deserved it (43018)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I bought an otter box. While setting up my iPhone, I dropped it and it is now shattered. FML

#16944357
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22198) - you deserved it (7621)

On 07/02/2011 at 1:50am - money - by hunter168647 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

#16919201
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39567) - you deserved it (3200)

On 06/30/2011 at 4:18am - misc - by John - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63315) - you deserved it (6610)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

#16893359
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42060) - you deserved it (8006)

On 06/28/2011 at 3:32am - health - by disgustedgf - United States

Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML

#16892674
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (3748)

On 06/28/2011 at 2:39am - intimacy - by girlshavepenises (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, it has been 8 months since I started a photography project in which I would take a picture of the same tree every day for a year. I just heard a noise outside. They cut the tree down. FML

#16877563
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46402) - you deserved it (4083)

On 06/27/2011 at 3:55am - misc - by A girl - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I went to a party and we all decided to play hide-and-go-seek despite our ages. I started counting. When I was done, I started searching and after 5 minutes of searching, I found that everyone left me. FML

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

#16812585
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37776) - you deserved it (2888)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:54am - money - by alo1434 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad informed me that I will be staying in the bug-infested shed for the summer when I come to visit, due to his girlfriend's sewing workspace completely taking over the only room I've ever had at his house. FML

#16792540
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30644) - you deserved it (2224)

On 06/22/2011 at 12:59am - health - by justinj360 - United States (Montana)

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

#16757067
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (7814)

On 06/20/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was yelled at by my mum for not wanting to get a spray tan for my cousin's wedding because if I don't, I will "shine like a beacon of disrespect" among the other attendees. FML

#16697911
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29023) - you deserved it (3159)

On 06/16/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by vampire (woman) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML

#16687170
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32780) - you deserved it (9200)

On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12625) - you deserved it (57848)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

#16600238
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (7131)

On 06/10/2011 at 8:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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