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patebishop's favorite FMLs
by CaoiiBieber / 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm / Ireland / Health
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML
by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by sm702 / 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Jackie Campbell / 07/12/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Colorado) / Love
by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids
Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by siighh / 07/06/2011 at 10:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anna / 07/06/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML
by omfgfmlife / 07/05/2011 at 10:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by davidthegreat / 07/05/2011 at 4:27am / Japan / Intimacy
by drunkinriot / 07/03/2011 at 7:04pm / United States / Health
Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML
by Anonymous / 07/03/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
- Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on… Today, I had to work a double shift as a server with a multi-fractured foot because my boss decided… Today, one of my coworkers was told to empty the clothes dryer and put in more tea towels. I know…