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  • Number of visits : 7128
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:33pm<b>XxDARKWOLFxX</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:13am<b>Thebestinclass</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:42am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Dilexar</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 6:20pm<b>KaneCR</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:35am<b>armattiuzzo</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:51pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:01pm<b>stressed0317</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:29am<b>Clanesda</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:14pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:42am<b>Soloman212</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:09am<b>operaticMortal</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:29pm<b>MrLufthansa</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:35pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:02am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:46pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:32am<b>night_fox1233</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:20pm

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally deep throated a fork. FML

by CaoiiBieber / 07/17/2011 at 3:15pm / Ireland / Health

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

by BelleCharmante / 07/14/2011 at 12:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

by sm702 / 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me using the "it's not you, it's me" speech with a slight variation, saying instead, "It's not me, it's you. And yes, I meant to say it that way round." FML

by Jackie Campbell / 07/12/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

by shit / 07/07/2011 at 3:43am / United States / Kids

Today, my friends staged an intervention. I'm not on drugs, I'm not an alcoholic, and I own my own house. My car is paid for and my job pays well. Apparently, I need an intervention because my life is not where they want it to be, which involves me being married with children. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 7:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2011 at 12:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came home from work complaining about all the people he'd seen. He said he doesn't understand why so many people with problems have to confide in him. He's a psychologist. FML

by siighh / 07/06/2011 at 10:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's facebook wall. Apparently I give awful blowjobs. FML

by Anna / 07/06/2011 at 2:15am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

by omfgfmlife / 07/05/2011 at 10:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to come to terms with the fact that I'm getting older because my pubic hair is turning white. FML

by davidthegreat / 07/05/2011 at 4:27am / Japan / Intimacy

Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML

by drunkinriot / 07/03/2011 at 7:04pm / United States / Health

Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work