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Offline (the 10/11/2016 at 4:30am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7127
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:33pm<b>XxDARKWOLFxX</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:13am<b>Thebestinclass</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:42am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Dilexar</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 6:20pm<b>KaneCR</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:35am<b>armattiuzzo</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:51pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:01pm<b>stressed0317</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:29am<b>Clanesda</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:14pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:42am<b>Soloman212</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:09am<b>operaticMortal</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:29pm<b>MrLufthansa</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:35pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:02am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:46pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:32am<b>night_fox1233</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:20pm

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

by titou / 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm / Love

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

by mc / 01/02/2009 at 9:12pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

by noname / 12/29/2008 at 1:09am / Miscellaneous

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

by Olive / 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm / Love

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

by Dr_JF / 12/15/2008 at 2:11am / Miscellaneous

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

by Mateo / 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm / Intimacy

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

by Jumanji / 12/12/2008 at 1:05am / Geek

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

by gui909 / 12/09/2008 at 2:01am / Transportation

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

by ripo95 / 11/26/2008 at 1:18am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

by Gwayhir / 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm / Intimacy

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

by bipbip / 11/12/2008 at 2:53am / Work

Today, I've just lost over £12,000 and it's not even halfway through the trading day. FML

by Noname / 10/30/2008 at 1:55am / Work

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

by Marco / 10/13/2008 at 4:29am / Money

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

by Jonathan / 10/13/2008 at 4:27am / Love