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patebishop

Offline (the 01/25/2016 at 4:22am) | Search for a member

patebishop

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5620
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8869) - you deserved it (30845)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

#686
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20029) - you deserved it (2179)

On 01/02/2009 at 9:12pm - misc - by mc - Sent from mobile version

Today, my flatmate was listening to opera on full volume all afternoon and now he's playing James Bond on the trumpet. FML

#621
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (3057)

On 12/29/2008 at 1:09am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last two weeks I have been preparing my girlfriend for a break up with nasty remarks. She has been finding me exceptionally funny. FML

#548
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7628) - you deserved it (38072)

On 12/18/2008 at 11:11pm - love - by Olive - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

#519
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21716) - you deserved it (8561)

On 12/15/2008 at 2:11am - misc - by Dr_JF - Sent from mobile version

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12973) - you deserved it (64897)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

#499
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20306) - you deserved it (11183)

On 12/12/2008 at 1:05am - misc - by Jumanji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

#475
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23018) - you deserved it (6893)

On 12/09/2008 at 2:01am - misc - by gui909 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

#392
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (44994)

On 11/26/2008 at 1:18am - misc - by ripo95 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

#337
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47721) - you deserved it (4687)

On 11/18/2008 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Gwayhir - Sent from mobile version

Today, at work, I received an email telling me that viewing porn websites was prohibited and was a good enough reason to fire me. FML

#285
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8664) - you deserved it (65497)

On 11/12/2008 at 2:53am - work - by bipbip - Sent from mobile version

Today, I've just lost over £12,000 and it's not even halfway through the trading day. FML

#150
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35289) - you deserved it (8363)

On 10/30/2008 at 1:55am - work - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, the bank I use lost 5 billion. FML

#19
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79091) - you deserved it (11812)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:29am - money - by Marco -

Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML

#17
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71410) - you deserved it (19315)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:27am - love - by Jonathan -



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