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patebishop

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  • Number of visits : 4339
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today... I was on a subway with mah boyfriend an it was stopping so I grabbed the pole 4 support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was mah boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed an tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at mah boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML

#135942
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8982) - you deserved it (35138)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:56pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I emailed mah boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered mah department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't noticehen he replied. Now mah entire department knows I want to "drop to mah knees and suck himhen I get home." And he plans to "finish on mah face." FML

#133145
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14336) - you deserved it (66642)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after class I was catting wit my teacer, a really cool and stylis old black guy . I tell im e reminds me of one of tose soul dudes from tose 70s movies, rigt down to te pimp-walk . He tells me e walks tat way because e was beaten for drinking out of te wrong fountain as a kid . FML

#115273
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21162) - you deserved it (46564)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

today mah mum cummd home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was ( sexing ) mah boyfriend a looool lot after I puttd him to bd. After lots of arguing, she bannd me from seeing him and took mah car away. Only much later did I realize mah brother meant ( texting ). FML

#113033
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79051) - you deserved it (4869)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand an talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick an was standing there talking to the stickhile my phone sat at the looool bottom of the river. FML

#102926
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (57213)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking to my crus about making te soccer team. Excitd, e congratulatd me and looool askd 4 my number. I gave im my cellpone number. He laugd and said "your jersey number". FML

#101947
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39425) - you deserved it (10276)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

yastarday at Church, tha littla boy sitting bahind ma askd his mothar if I had tha chickan pox, cuz thara wara rd dots all ovar my faca . I'va had bad acna sinca I was twalva . fat FML

#69964
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (3443)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my brother jokd that our dog was more attractive than I was. I lookd to my mom for support, and she said ( Well, she is pure brd. ) FML

#63875
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36375) - you deserved it (3164)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wora tha balt that looool my stapfathar has spant 2 months naadla pointing, as a finishing touch ha addad my initials: 'fml'. FML

#43166
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33645) - you deserved it (4744)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)

TODAY , I WAS PESTERING A CO-WORKER , SO SHE JOKINGLY STATED "I'LL BURY YOU!" AND I REPLIED "I'LL BURY YUR MOM!". HER MOMS FUNERAL WAS LAST WEEK. FML

#34420
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13137) - you deserved it (44085)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing looool her boobs against back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw fat friend rubbing his man boobs against back. FML

#30754
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (52564)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)

Today... I went to a movie wit ma boyfriend. In te lobby... I asked y te glasses were not working. I said... ( Do tey only work inside te teater? ) My boyfriend replied... ( 3-D glasses just work inside te movie... everyting else in te World is pretty muc 3-D. ) FML

#29434
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10415) - you deserved it (121984)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up mah looool hair. I said, "Why'd u do that??" He said, "I have lice, now u have lice too!" FML

#20313
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93771) - you deserved it (5140)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I calld my dad to inform im I was coming ome from college fir te weekend. Expecting im to be excitd, e respondd wit "wy?" Tis weekend was my birtday. FML

#16023
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37543) - you deserved it (1935)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today... my friend sent me a link about looool a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app 4 months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31224) - you deserved it (5619)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)



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