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Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13306) - you deserved it (30414)
On 02/27/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by tan disaster - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6884) - you deserved it (27637)
On 02/25/2009 at 6:56pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11468) - you deserved it (55685)
On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16780) - you deserved it (37619)
On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)
Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML
I agree, your life sucks (68618) - you deserved it (3862)
On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13894) - you deserved it (46873)
On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML
I agree, your life sucks (32951) - you deserved it (9324)
On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37887) - you deserved it (2688)
On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (2453)
On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28219) - you deserved it (4256)
On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9660) - you deserved it (33651)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (42870)
On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6963) - you deserved it (95926)
On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (82075) - you deserved it (4352)
On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30948) - you deserved it (1386)
On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Friday 24 May 2013
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