patebishop

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Offline (the 11/28/2016 at 7:22pm)

patebishop

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7335
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's page activity

Visits<b>SixthSinEnvy</b> - the 09/21/2016 at 4:33pm<b>XxDARKWOLFxX</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:13am<b>Thebestinclass</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:42am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Dilexar</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 6:20pm<b>KaneCR</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:35am<b>armattiuzzo</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:51pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:01pm<b>stressed0317</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:29am<b>Clanesda</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:14pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:42am<b>Soloman212</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:09am<b>operaticMortal</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:29pm<b>MrLufthansa</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:35pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:02am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:46pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:32am<b>night_fox1233</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:20pm

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML

by Noname / 02/25/2009 at 6:56pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

by foolishgirl / 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

by catfish / 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

by Megan / 02/23/2009 at 11:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

by El Boz / 02/22/2009 at 9:52am / United States (Maryland) / Animals

Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

by 987564 / 02/22/2009 at 2:24am / Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

by Spotted / 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Kids

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

by Noname / 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML

by MLS / 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

by idkmybffjill? / 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

by florisvanlent / 02/12/2009 at 11:17am / Netherlands (Drenthe) / Intimacy

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

by imalilangel05 / 02/10/2009 at 10:08am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

by seb21 / 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

by dinosaur / 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm / United States (Washington) / Geek