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patebishop

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patebishop

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 5643
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a subway with my boyfriend and it was stopping so I grabbed the pole for support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was my boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed and tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at my boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML

#135942
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10527) - you deserved it (38493)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:56pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16108) - you deserved it (71534)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those 70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

#115273
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (50159)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by catfish - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

#113033
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82797) - you deserved it (5213)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (59941)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was talking to my crush about making the soccer team. Excited, he congratulated me and asked for my number. I gave him my cellphone number. He laughed and said "your jersey number". FML

#101947
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42776) - you deserved it (11001)

On 02/22/2009 at 2:24am - love - by 987564 (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML

#69964
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48429) - you deserved it (3796)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:09pm - kids - by Spotted (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39991) - you deserved it (3491)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML

#43166
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37609) - you deserved it (5126)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14643) - you deserved it (47089)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing her boobs against my back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw my fat friend rubbing his man boobs against my back. FML

#30754
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (54557)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:17am - intimacy - by florisvanlent (man) - Netherlands (Drenthe)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12659) - you deserved it (131410)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was tutoring kids at an elementary school. One kid messed up my hair. I said, "Why'd you do that??" He said, "I have lice, now you have lice too!" FML

#20313
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99784) - you deserved it (5612)

On 02/10/2009 at 10:08am - misc - by imalilangel05 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

#16023
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40608) - you deserved it (2169)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33414) - you deserved it (5876)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)



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