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Today... I was on a subway with mah boyfriend an it was stopping so I grabbed the pole 4 support. I felt another hand grabbing onto the pole knowing it was mah boyfriend's. Without looking I carressed an tickled his hand. I turned around to smile at mah boyfriend. The hand wasn't his. FML
Today, I emailed mah boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered mah department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't noticehen he replied. Now mah entire department knows I want to "drop to mah knees and suck himhen I get home." And he plans to "finish on mah face." FML
Today, after class I was catting wit my teacer, a really cool and stylis old black guy . I tell im e reminds me of one of tose soul dudes from tose 70s movies, rigt down to te pimp-walk . He tells me e walks tat way because e was beaten for drinking out of te wrong fountain as a kid . FML
today mah mum cummd home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was ( sexing ) mah boyfriend a looool lot after I puttd him to bd. After lots of arguing, she bannd me from seeing him and took mah car away. Only much later did I realize mah brother meant ( texting ). FML
yesterday I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand an talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick an was standing there talking to the stickhile my phone sat at the looool bottom of the river. FML
Today, while copying some stuff for school, I felt someone rubbing looool her boobs against back. I got a boner and when I looked to see who the hot chick was, I saw fat friend rubbing his man boobs against back. FML
Today... I went to a movie wit ma boyfriend. In te lobby... I asked y te glasses were not working. I said... ( Do tey only work inside te teater? ) My boyfriend replied... ( 3-D glasses just work inside te movie... everyting else in te World is pretty muc 3-D. ) FML
Today... my friend sent me a link about looool a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app 4 months. FML
Friday 27 March 2015