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patebishop

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patebishop

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4861
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I won a 20 000 dollar scholarship. After celebrating with my family by jumping around the room for a half-hour, we realized it was addressed to someone else with the same last name. When we called to tell her, she said it was weird because she had received my rejection letter. FML

#318702
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174115) - you deserved it (21531)

On 03/14/2009 at 9:44am - money - by stillpoor (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a letter saying I was no longer a student at my college and my current work is void since I had ignored and refused to pay my tuition bill. Over the past month I've been deleting these pesky emails saying 'FINAL WARNING regarding payment' thinking it was more spam. They weren't. FML

#312852
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27551) - you deserved it (127131)

On 03/13/2009 at 10:57pm - money - by goddamnit (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, when I was shaving , I wanted to see what I looked like with a Hitler 'tache. Since I was shaving anyway I just left that part and figured I'd shave it later. Well I was goose stepping around my room for awhile and then forgot about it. I ran into my girlfriend's parents later that day. FML

#297200
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10943) - you deserved it (69777)

On 03/13/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

#273030
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31653) - you deserved it (68103)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by SoggyPancakes (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

#259923
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72460) - you deserved it (3155)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by Noname (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (191791) - you deserved it (14139)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (191791) - you deserved it (14139)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (191791) - you deserved it (14139)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (191791) - you deserved it (14139)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put my picture into a celebrity look alike website. The three matches that came up were Barbra Streisand, Hillary Clinton, and Boy George. I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#224033
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50877) - you deserved it (6852)

On 03/06/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by oconron (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got my braces on. When we got in the car my dad looked over and said "well at least we dont have to worry about boys for the next two years." FML

#171168
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59977) - you deserved it (4242)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by jajaja (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a 'cheating whore.' I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said "No, I'm at my man's house." FML

#169078
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (42832)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:20am - love - by Mandy (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17965) - you deserved it (85414)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

#154795
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (34772)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:09pm - misc - by tan disaster - United States (Massachusetts)



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