patebishop

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Offline (the 05/29/2016 at 12:46pm)

patebishop

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6641
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's page activity

Visits<b>XxDARKWOLFxX</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:13am<b>Thebestinclass</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 1:42am<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 4:53pm<b>Dilexar</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 6:20pm<b>KaneCR</b> - the 07/02/2016 at 3:35am<b>armattiuzzo</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 10:51pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:01pm<b>stressed0317</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:29am<b>Clanesda</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:14pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:42am<b>Soloman212</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:09am<b>operaticMortal</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:29pm<b>MrLufthansa</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:35pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:02am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:46pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:32am<b>night_fox1233</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Kieranr10</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:04am

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 10:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML

by SupaSu / 04/02/2009 at 1:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 12:36am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

by lizzardbreath / 03/31/2009 at 6:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML

by lauren / 03/30/2009 at 1:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

by Cynical / 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

by badmom / 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

by sweet / 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I found out that driving five miles an hour under the posted speed limit is "suspicious" and cause for a field sobriety test, breathalyzer, having your car searched and being handcuffed on the side of the road. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my Christian boyfriend of six months broke up with me. I had told him when we started dating that I was an atheist, and he just now decided to look up what it is. He gave me a bible. FML

by Noname / 03/14/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Florida) / Love