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patebishop

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patebishop
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  • Number of visits : 2515
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (4424)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my roommate sniffing my underwear. He said he was checking if they were clean, so he could borrow them later. Which may have been reasonable, if I weren't still sleeping in them. FML

#17516529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38562) - you deserved it (2654)

On 08/19/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by leftwardfoil (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while working at a McDonald's drive-through, some dicks decided to pull a "fire in the hole" prank. Granted, it has been done to me before, this time was different. These pleasant people decided to use hot coffee. FML

#17446710
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (2046)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:26am - work - by viperplay53 - United States

Today, my wife heard that wifi could be harmful for our newborn baby's undeveloped brain box. Her solution was to switch the wifi off on our laptops. She won't listen to the flaw in her plan. FML

#17411928
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20847) - you deserved it (2391)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:01pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41442) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother took 350 dollars from savings to go to a psychic. But it's okay though, because now I know I'm an "ancient soul from another dimension". An "ancient soul" who now has no money. FML

#17354584
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23901) - you deserved it (2466)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:49am - money - by Teen With No Money (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

#17333290
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (2932)

On 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm - kids - by burn - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

#17322552
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (32530)

On 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by iannie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

#17322552
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24291) - you deserved it (32530)

On 07/31/2011 at 5:45pm - love - by iannie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17162) - you deserved it (32639)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

#17211939
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37130) - you deserved it (8107)

On 07/22/2011 at 1:00am - intimacy - by James - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my grandmother has severe road rage after she complained about Pennsylvania drivers for over an hour, then decided to rear end one because he wouldn't get out of her way. FML

#17201189
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24486) - you deserved it (2216)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by Courtney - United States

Today, my girlfriend's overprotective parents decided that I'm a bad influence on their daughter. I'm a straight A engineering student who openly speaks out against drugs, alcohol, and discrimination. Their reason? Someone told them I dyed my hair black. They think I'm a "closet Nazi". FML

#17197650
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (3446)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:10am - love - by rbeast (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house to meet her entire family for the first time. Trying not to be rude, I ate their 12-bean and chorizo soup. Now I'm stuck in the bathroom trying to unclog the toilet with no plunger. FML

#17177083
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (3594)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:11pm - misc - by PissNTra - United States

Today, my sister found out she contracted ringworm and scabies from her best friend's rescued kittens. The entire family now has to be treated to prevent it from spreading. There are 7 people in our house and none of us have health insurance. FML

#17152601
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (13037)

On 07/17/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by cderr (woman) - United States (Texas)



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