Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

patebishop

Offline (the 08/16/2015 at 5:08pm) | Search for a member

patebishop

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5138
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

patebishop's page activity

Visits<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:37am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:40pm<b>doctor__who</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:34am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 4:15am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:32am<b>PossibleMouse24</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:19am<b>kaet</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:26am<b>AryannaT</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:16pm<b>_Could_Be_Worse</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:54pm<b>idontlikemen</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:22pm<b>kittyofdeath</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Nicolasaur726</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:48am<b>sofuckinglonely</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:44am<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:39pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 12:25pm<b>cchetwynde</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:06am<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:11pm<b>fleaflea4677</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 10:06pm

patebishop's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of patebishop's badges

patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend. His best friend called and said he just beat God Of War 3 and that my boyfriend could borrow it. He got up, got dressed, ran to his car and told me I could walk home. FML

#9464228
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35510) - you deserved it (6535)

On 03/29/2010 at 12:20am - intimacy - by xxlexi_lovexx - United States (Kansas)

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

#9157788
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9820) - you deserved it (37323)

On 03/17/2010 at 11:46am - intimacy - by shouldabeenapornstar (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

#9070560
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26486) - you deserved it (10916)

On 03/14/2010 at 10:49am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

#8792170
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9137) - you deserved it (18797)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the hospital at 2am. Where was the allergic reaction? On my nuts. FML

#8792170
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9137) - you deserved it (18797)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a wasp flew into my room. While I, a 6'2" hockey player, cowered in the corner, my 4'11" girlfriend killed it. FML

#8770884
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10499) - you deserved it (39363)

On 03/02/2010 at 10:53am - animals - by Jeff - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

#8719561
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8241) - you deserved it (57487)

On 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I felt a lump of something in the corner of my mouth. Naturally assuming it would be a bit of food that my toothbrush had dislodged, I spat it out into the sink. It was a woodlouse. FML

#8611277
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30095) - you deserved it (3006)

On 02/24/2010 at 7:58am - misc - by puzzled (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I went into my parents room to empty their wastebasket. Next to it and around their bed, I found tissues that were soaked in an unknown sticky substance. I had to pick them up. FML

#8587618
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26948) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:09pm - misc - by disgusted - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22745) - you deserved it (4558)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22491) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sat a client down for his haircut. He pulled off his hat and his hair was dripping wet. I asked him if he had just washed it. He responded, "No, but isn't it a hot day out?" No, it's twenty degrees and overcast today. FML

#8336543
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you deserved it (2150)

On 02/16/2010 at 11:35am - work - by kennarama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happens to be my 18 year old sister. FML

#7908688
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46796) - you deserved it (4722)

On 02/05/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by whoknows?! - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was developing film at walmart. It started to get a little warm, so I began taking off my sweatshirt. This creepy old man approaches me, saying "You know, usually girls like you are paid to take their clothes off." FML

#7837856
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31675) - you deserved it (4101)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:24am - misc - by hotandbothered (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20837) - you deserved it (35567)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: