patebishop

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Offline (the 05/24/2016 at 7:23pm)

patebishop

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6104
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's page activity

Visits<b>armattiuzzo</b> - yesterday at 10:51pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 05/03/2016 at 7:01pm<b>stressed0317</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 12:29am<b>Clanesda</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:14pm<b>dom_g</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 12:42am<b>Soloman212</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 4:09am<b>operaticMortal</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 4:29pm<b>MrLufthansa</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:35pm<b>Zoldyck</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 2:02am<b>sugoi72</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 11:46pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:32am<b>night_fox1233</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Kieranr10</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 3:04am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:09am<b>their0ny</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 11:04pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 1:34pm<b>racello13</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:35pm<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 4:20pm

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend showed me how he gives himself a semi-erection before he goes into the men's showers after training so his penis will look bigger in front of all the guys. I find it worrying that he won't have sex with me, but has no problem walking around in front of men naked with a semi. FML

by 4fucksake / 07/18/2010 at 7:26pm / Ireland (Sligo) / Intimacy

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

by Username / 07/16/2010 at 12:17am / Health

Today, I got called a "loser" by an old man wearing pink flip-flops and riding a purple moped. FML

by cooldude / 07/01/2010 at 11:19am / United States (Arkansas) / Transportation

Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

by flipflop / 06/07/2010 at 3:03am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I logged onto Facebook and found out that my own mother unfriended me because she didn't want her new boyfriend to know that she had a daughter. FML

by justdancebbyx3 / 06/06/2010 at 1:23am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I spent some time in a sun-bed to prepare myself for a very special reunion with my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in 6 months. I hope he likes crispy red butt-cheeks, and I wonder whether they will start peeling before or after he returns. FML

by Aiaiii / 06/03/2010 at 3:55am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Health

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

by Username / 05/28/2010 at 2:20am / Transportation

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2010 at 2:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me through Skype, with the message "my penis wants more, but my heart and mind don't want to hurt you." FML

by justsingle / 05/11/2010 at 4:56am / Philippines / Intimacy

Today, I'm having a nice evening out on the town. After my complimentary round of drinks for my birthday, my friend walks in with a big pink gift-box. It was an inflatable... erm... 'friend.' Which then got unwrapped in front of several of my other friends. And several members of my family. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2010 at 4:30am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML

by Rowden / 04/26/2010 at 5:58am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

by buttpicker / 04/19/2010 at 7:24pm / United States / Animals

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

by FASHlONABLE / 04/05/2010 at 3:32am / United States (California) / Intimacy