Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

patebishop

Offline (the 08/16/2015 at 5:08pm) | Search for a member

patebishop

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5122
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

patebishop's page activity

Visits<b>MethuselahTurtle</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:37am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:40pm<b>doctor__who</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:34am<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 4:15am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:32am<b>PossibleMouse24</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:19am<b>kaet</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:26am<b>AryannaT</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:16pm<b>_Could_Be_Worse</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 5:54pm<b>idontlikemen</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 11:22pm<b>kittyofdeath</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Nicolasaur726</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:48am<b>sofuckinglonely</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:44am<b>mysteryguy3039</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:39pm<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 12:25pm<b>cchetwynde</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:06am<b>extrasnipes</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 4:11pm<b>fleaflea4677</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 10:06pm

patebishop's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of patebishop's badges

patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53708) - you deserved it (3762)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test saying "well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML

#13083342
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26132) - you deserved it (7050)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:19am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

#13058451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17009) - you deserved it (38882)

On 09/15/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

#12997934
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7836) - you deserved it (58705)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my mom told me I was conceived on Halloween. She thought it would be funny to say "Let's just say your dad was not wearing his ghost costume." She then winked. I am now scarred for life. FML

#12874867
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27972) - you deserved it (4118)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by anonymous.. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

#12849732
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39147) - you deserved it (4042)

On 09/01/2010 at 2:16am - intimacy - by Jill Shanks - United States

Today, I took pictures of myself and my girlfriend doing naughty things together on my camera. My mom later asked me if she could borrow the camera for the weekend. Without thinking, I gave her the camera. FML

#12836221
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12209) - you deserved it (51199)

On 08/31/2010 at 9:13am - intimacy - by weezel (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11142) - you deserved it (46518)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15116) - you deserved it (26424)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML

#12726164
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15116) - you deserved it (26424)

On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)

Today, I went on a double date with my bestfriend. At the end of the night, her boyfriend gave her a long kiss, and texted her 5 minutes after we left to say he missed her already. My boyfriend picked his nose, then gave me a fist bump as a goodbye. FML

#12698820
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36462) - you deserved it (6565)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:40am - love - by Sara1990 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was told that in order to be considered for more jobs, I should remove my college degree from my resume. FML

#12579737
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33908) - you deserved it (3749)

On 08/17/2010 at 7:43am - work - by JoannaG25 (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41168) - you deserved it (3473)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7927) - you deserved it (54422)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: