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patebishop

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  • Number of visits : 2708
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

#13919732
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (3008)

On 11/21/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Random Person - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was pulled over by the cops for a random breathalyzer test. They asked to see my license. I always keep my wallet in my car for situations like this. I received a $100 ticket because my mum apparently didn’t think it was a good idea to keep my wallet in the car. FML

#13862982
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (6268)

On 11/16/2010 at 7:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

#13760701
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6674) - you deserved it (27555)

On 11/08/2010 at 1:07am - animals - by yay! - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend started his first day of work. After saying our goodbyes, I went into our bedroom to get changed, picked up one of my blouses and found a camera, still recording. I guess someone has major trust issues. FML

#13729555
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25544) - you deserved it (3591)

On 11/05/2010 at 7:36pm - love - by distressed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

#13650212
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19842) - you deserved it (11271)

On 10/30/2010 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Shelly - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my best friend lost her virginity to my father. Her excuse? She was drunk. His excuse? "She's hot." FML

#13642352
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51861) - you deserved it (3863)

On 10/29/2010 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out my boyfriend watches porn. Specifically, today, while I was in the shower. In the next room. We were alone in the house and he still chose porn. FML

#13585816
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26741) - you deserved it (6281)

On 10/25/2010 at 1:42am - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

#13518808
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28222) - you deserved it (3554)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by engineerdude91 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was supposed to present a speech on diabetes. The girl who went first chose the same subject, knowing I'm diabetic and that it was my topic. I went last, so I had to change half of my speech on the spot. I sounded ignorant about my own illness. FML

#13457118
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (5608)

On 10/15/2010 at 9:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting in a lecture about the history of the KKK and the problems it has caused, when the weirdest and quietest kid leans over my shoulder and says "I'd burn you first..." and winks. FML

#13455190
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (3193)

On 10/15/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by racist - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35598) - you deserved it (20834)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

#13422951
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32452) - you deserved it (3710)

On 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm - health - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (8099)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

#13145011
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49977) - you deserved it (3465)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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