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Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40353) - you deserved it (5154)
On 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by explainer (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40005) - you deserved it (3998)
On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)
Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (1805)
On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (4317)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (4317)
On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20801) - you deserved it (2536)
On 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm - health - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19172) - you deserved it (1503)
On 10/21/2011 at 8:10am - work - by Customer Stonage Representative - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (2257)
On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)
Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39196) - you deserved it (2507)
On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (1884)
On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States
Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (1959)
On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6142) - you deserved it (44179)
On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States
Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15776) - you deserved it (2741)
On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24665) - you deserved it (1970)
On 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm - work - by waytootan (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24418) - you deserved it (3459)
On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
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