Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

patebishop

Search for a member

patebishop

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2780
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

patebishop's page activity

Visits<b>xxnick2dmaxx</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:44am<b>fobgirl10171</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:11am<b>Yodamine34</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 11:09am<b>CaiDog</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:36pm<b>AnonymousSpock</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:30pm<b>shredder8838</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:45pm<b>amandathecreator</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 11:21am<b>probs</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 4:15pm<b>lopezpjt16</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:32pm<b>penashmul</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:09am<b>RedNinjaTurtle</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 1:56am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 9:58am<b>cumberbunny</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:43am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 7:43pm<b>leeannab508</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:14pm<b>maggiewalters</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:30pm<b>ThunderTheRad</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 5:08pm

patebishop's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of patebishop's badges

patebishop's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42301) - you deserved it (5064)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why it is inappropriate for her to go skinny dipping with her male friends. FML

#18192862
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48404) - you deserved it (6716)

On 11/08/2011 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by explainer (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, on a dating site, I was matched with my brother, again. FML

#18128656
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47127) - you deserved it (5388)

On 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my dad asked if I'd help him clean the gutters. I was given the responsibility of holding the ladder while he went on the roof. All I heard was laughter before a year's worth of rotting vegetation landed on top of my head. FML

#18097462
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22837) - you deserved it (2511)

On 10/28/2011 at 4:59pm - misc - by Weldingtags (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36055) - you deserved it (5656)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML

#18072512
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36055) - you deserved it (5656)

On 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the hospital with severe chest pain, thinking it was a heart attack. Turns out now I just can't have booze, pop, chocolate, fruit with skins, seeds, tomatoes, or mint. I'd rather have the heart attack. FML

#18058320
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26458) - you deserved it (3515)

On 10/23/2011 at 9:37pm - health - by heartsick (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML

#18037491
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24729) - you deserved it (2129)

On 10/21/2011 at 8:10am - work - by Customer Stonage Representative - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML

#17962463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (3090)

On 10/11/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by dinosaucer - United States (Delaware)

Today, during my first date with a girl I've liked for awhile, she tells me about some minor disabilities she was born with. Wanting to be honest with her too, I tell her I'm slightly autistic. Her response was, "I'm sorry this isn't going to work. I can't date a retard." I had to eat alone after that. FML

#17948133
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45978) - you deserved it (3358)

On 10/09/2011 at 11:27pm - love - by DyingPlants (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

#17728264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27815) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States

Today, a woman came into the gas station where I work, yelling because her credit card wouldn't read at the pump. I politely told her that I could set the pump up for a set amount, and she could swipe the card at the register. Her response: "You need Jesus." FML

#17727242
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (2317)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:28am - work - by charliemann_ - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7705) - you deserved it (60091)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

#17690581
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20902) - you deserved it (3854)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

#17549181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30386) - you deserved it (2692)

On 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm - work - by waytootan (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: