Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

papertigers

Search for a member

papertigers

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 September 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 80062
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About papertigers : ...

papertigers's page activity

Visits<b>kittycatkelss</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:02am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:49pm<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:41pm<b>rebphil18</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:16am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 11:24am<b>rafa015</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 10:56am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 9:11am<b>annalily5</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 1:38am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 11:21pm<b>CosmicElk</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:49am<b>arule2012</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:34pm<b>lurch87</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 8:55am<b>Vanlendauman</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 4:48pm<b>pavingboy</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:30pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 4:49pm<b>MrPigg</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 3:21pm<b>NomadicPie</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:42am

Fucked!<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:24pm<b>rafa015</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:56pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 3:49pm<b>JayVicious</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 9:07pm<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:14am

papertigers's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

papertigers's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29653) - you deserved it (106092)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
703 comments

I agree, your life sucks (733266) - you deserved it (56651)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98228) - you deserved it (4682)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132835) - you deserved it (6832)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

#920933
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73065) - you deserved it (2808)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32378) - you deserved it (40588)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

#910360
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59531) - you deserved it (4719)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76586) - you deserved it (3698)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (54642)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (54642)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (54642)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13159) - you deserved it (54642)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: