Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

papertigers

Search for a member

papertigers

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 September 1984 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 78900
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About papertigers : ...

papertigers's page activity

Visits<b>pinkpig23</b> - yesterday at 11:35pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 11:48am<b>datducktho</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 8:05pm<b>ryanpmcg</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:05am<b>MacKieDoodle</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:09am<b>beanybacca</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:44am<b>Aero_x</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 12:16am<b>jaydeg19</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 4:07am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:07am<b>ilmanator</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 6:46pm<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:57pm<b>l248xt</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 1:14am<b>Jenra</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 10:31am<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 5:17pm<b>DrWafflez</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:32pm<b>persianninja</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:42pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 3:04am

papertigers's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

papertigers's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

#1131048
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65355) - you deserved it (6805)

On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up in the night and was really thirsty so I took a drink of water that had been sitting next to my bed for a few hours. After taking a huge gulp, I felt something strange in my mouth, ignored it and went back to sleep. When I woke up I saw all the ants that were floating in it. FML

#1110151
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52366) - you deserved it (12806)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Ihatebugs. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (99283)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
677 comments

I agree, your life sucks (685021) - you deserved it (49990)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (95224) - you deserved it (4480)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, for Easter, my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (123142) - you deserved it (5958)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

#920933
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70273) - you deserved it (2602)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30560) - you deserved it (38215)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

#910360
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56242) - you deserved it (4388)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67258) - you deserved it (2607)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (43596)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (43596)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: