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papertigers
  • Town/Country : Montreal, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 12 September 1984 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 77489
  • Number of comments : 129
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About papertigers : ...

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papertigers's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a cosmetic dentist and got a chip in my tooth filled in that I’d had since I was 7. I went out later and my friend jokingly hit my head against the table a few times to make fun of me showing off my teeth. He slipped. I fell. I now have 2 chipped teeth and a broken nose. FML

#1186879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (7322)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:51am - health - by Chip (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

#1131048
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58392) - you deserved it (5360)

On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up in the night and was really thirsty so I took a drink of water that had been sitting next to my bed for a few hours. After taking a huge gulp, I felt something strange in my mouth, ignored it and went back to sleep. When I woke up I saw all the ants that were floating in it. FML

#1110151
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47177) - you deserved it (9783)

On 04/19/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Ihatebugs. (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

#1080598
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24229) - you deserved it (93026)

On 04/18/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took the bus home. A bum sat next to me. Reeking with alcohol and sweat, he pulls out a pair of nail clippers and clips his grimy finger nails. With every clip, the nails would fly up and hit me. As I was about to ask him to stop, a nail flies into my mouth. I swallowed it. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 17 months, the first guy to tell me he loves me, the guy I lost my virginity to, the only guy whose parents I've met, told me we should stop 'hooking up' because it's weird that I was telling everyone we were a couple and it was ruining his chances of finding a girlfriend. FML

Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
654 comments

I agree, your life sucks (547842) - you deserved it (35286)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82853) - you deserved it (3247)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, for Easter my brother and sister both got $200 gifts from my parents. I got a chocolate egg. I'm allergic to chocolate. FML

#924153
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104694) - you deserved it (4321)

On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked out to my car to see four kids taking the hubcaps, radio, and license plates off of my truck. I chased them six blocks until I tripped and twisted my ankle. I limped back to my car and found a ticket on my windshield for $55 dollars. The reason? Missing license plates. FML

#920933
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62542) - you deserved it (1832)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Britney's concert. About halfway through the show, the person next to me turns to me and asks, "Can you do me a favour?" Thinking that she wanted me to look after her stuff, I said sure. Her next sentence was: "Can you stop singing?" FML

#911681
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (29991)

On 04/11/2009 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

#910360
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51042) - you deserved it (3383)

On 04/11/2009 at 1:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my father, who I rarely see, drove 400 miles to my wedding. I was so happy to see him, until he got completely trashed at my reception, asked me where he could "score some weed" and told me what a bitch my mom was and how I needed to lose weight. For over an hour. At my wedding. FML

#907483
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65801) - you deserved it (2557)

On 04/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by JeezyCherieze (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10071) - you deserved it (42862)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)



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