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paparoachgirl's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
paparoachgirl's favorite FMLs
by Isitreallythatbad, / 12/22/2013 at 12:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 2:53am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML
by HSampsON / 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm / Niger (Niamey) / Miscellaneous
Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2013 at 7:45am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by NotSoTypical / 09/29/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Money
Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML
by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids
by laughing-stock / 09/02/2013 at 5:40pm / United Kingdom (Swindon) / Work
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
by Job Seeking / 01/22/2013 at 6:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by kk / 01/09/2013 at 11:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by amazed / 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by dumbassbuffet / 11/11/2011 at 10:53am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
by MLGreco / 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm / United States / Kids
- Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I was talking with my slightly skinflint girlfriend, who just moved in with me. “I think you… Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.…