About paintingxflowers : "I think people who truly can live a life in music are telling the world, 'You can have my love, you can have my smiles. Forget the bad parts, you don't need them. Just take the music, the goodness, because it's the very best, and it's the part I give most willingly'" -George Harrison. I listen to good music. Don't even try to argue with me on that. Hedonist, pacifist, contrarian, atheist, agnostic-ist. I'm just trying to find my place in the world. I'm gonna go look for it now.
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Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22600) - you deserved it (4247)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27482) - you deserved it (2093)
On 02/15/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me. It ended up being so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of their breadsticks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (6229)
On 02/15/2013 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by Acolyte of the Bacon God (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28613) - you deserved it (8162)
On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19827) - you deserved it (8929)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20839) - you deserved it (2458)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14666) - you deserved it (6295)
On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)
Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16872) - you deserved it (17316)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17536) - you deserved it (3510)
On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6126) - you deserved it (19368)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6126) - you deserved it (19368)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20862) - you deserved it (942)
On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16614) - you deserved it (1617)
On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20823) - you deserved it (2599)
On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (2155)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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