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Offline (the 11/19/2015 at 3:13pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3024
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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paintedchocolate's page activity

Visits<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:11pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:15pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:15pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:58pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:39pm<b>drewigi</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:22pm<b>je83185</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:33pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>Furby94</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:28pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:50pm<b>KellT</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Gunny20</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:48am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:10am<b>bduggan101</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>MattM95</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:58am<b>byattwain</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:41pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:40am<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:07pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:53pm

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paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (3240)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (6194)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (2326)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (1829)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37940) - you deserved it (2112)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33545) - you deserved it (3973)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24942) - you deserved it (6247)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41844) - you deserved it (4449)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (2358)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML


I agree, your life sucks (30488) - you deserved it (3191)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML


I agree, your life sucks (13805) - you deserved it (44550)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (2803) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38901) - you deserved it (10962)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML


I agree, your life sucks (6399) - you deserved it (31166)

On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

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