Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

paintedchocolate

Offline (the 01/05/2016 at 10:55pm) | Search for a member

paintedchocolate

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3290
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

paintedchocolate's page activity

Visits<b>meatball4122</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:11pm<b>blazerman</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 2:15pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:15pm<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 6:41pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 10:01am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:58pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:39pm<b>drewigi</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 6:22pm<b>je83185</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:33pm<b>adambomb8181</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:27am<b>Furby94</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 10:28pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:50pm<b>KellT</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:21pm<b>Gunny20</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:48am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 9:10am<b>bduggan101</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:24pm<b>MattM95</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 10:58am<b>byattwain</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:41pm

Fucked!<b>khoov19</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 8:15pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 4:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 1:40am<b>Mornai</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 4:07pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 1:53pm

paintedchocolate's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of paintedchocolate's badges

paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28714) - you deserved it (3274)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33892) - you deserved it (6264)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27099) - you deserved it (2350)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

#20038541
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36138) - you deserved it (1841)

On 08/24/2012 at 12:08am - health - by Neurocardiogenic Syncope - Canada

Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML

#19982373
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38194) - you deserved it (2127)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:37pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (4021)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (6307)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
411 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42530) - you deserved it (4517)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (2380)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30901) - you deserved it (3227)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML

#19714828
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (44989)

On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML

#19626954
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (2835) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39264) - you deserved it (11070)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I was in the car with my daughter, when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML

#19478782
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6498) - you deserved it (31476)

On 04/16/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by DJ Clitter (man) - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: