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The Thumb strikes back
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (35692)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10189) - you deserved it (43906)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)
Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14314) - you deserved it (38053)
On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (126485) - you deserved it (3736)
On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42626) - you deserved it (4531)
On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I'm reading in the subway sitting one leg over the other. An old lady sits down next to me. After quietly examining me for about two stations she leans over to me and whispers in my ear: "Girl, sitting like all the time will make you end up with a crooked c**t". I'm a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37849) - you deserved it (3902)
On 02/24/2009 at 3:31am - misc - by jcc (man) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)
Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41927) - you deserved it (4262)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41138) - you deserved it (10084)
On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (408518) - you deserved it (26491)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40688) - you deserved it (6506)
On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12780) - you deserved it (37300)
On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16619) - you deserved it (4621)
On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I asked a guy out on a coffee date, and we started talking about our mutual careers. At the end of the date he asked me if I had any more questions about job opportunities or any more advice, then shook my hand and gave me his contact card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (2306)
On 02/02/2009 at 7:54pm - love - by myrie (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19827) - you deserved it (3882)
On 01/31/2009 at 1:19pm - love - by MichiganExile - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had dinner on my own. My cat came and sat on the chair on the other side of the table. We stared at each other during the whole meal. Pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (3190)
On 01/31/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by JulleandCici - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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