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paintedchocolate

Offline (the 11/24/2014 at 4:01am) | Search for a member

paintedchocolate

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1510
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

#7233088
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20190) - you deserved it (6126)

On 01/09/2010 at 8:48am - misc - by Fredgruff (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

#7083274
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (2284)

On 01/01/2010 at 2:14pm - misc - by johnny121 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6660) - you deserved it (36364)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83963) - you deserved it (4753)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

#6786909
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38052) - you deserved it (2591)

On 12/17/2009 at 12:00am - money - by exchange (man) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I fainted for the first time in my life. I was in the shower. With my girlfriend. Apparently, my brain and my erection had a battle for who got the most blood, and my erection won. FML

#6583595
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22153) - you deserved it (3164)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:50pm - intimacy - by Silent - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, my aunt came into the world. My 67 year-old grandfather married a 24 year-old woman who just gave birth to my new aunt, who is 18 years younger than me. FML

#6117794
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (3255)

On 11/02/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by notsohappyniece (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was helping a friend redecorate. She had put up some shelving, that we presumed was stable. It broke, and all the expensive vases and collectables fell to the floor. On instinct, I leapt forward to catch the closest thing. It was not the expensive vase. It was a cactus. FML

#5926949
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (4008)

On 10/21/2009 at 9:54am - misc - by TheSublime (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

#5762381
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8126) - you deserved it (41722)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (31506)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48481) - you deserved it (3930)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

#5525273
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41428) - you deserved it (16560)

On 09/28/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by jentown11 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML

#5378920
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37030) - you deserved it (3450)

On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59242) - you deserved it (15276)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (36712)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)



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