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paintedchocolate

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paintedchocolate

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1721
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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paintedchocolate's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of paintedchocolate's badges

paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (4773)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28463) - you deserved it (6239)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
511 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132756) - you deserved it (7366)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48290) - you deserved it (5575)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44227) - you deserved it (3128)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

#16188674
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36003) - you deserved it (6689) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/15/2011 at 2:19pm - misc - by bouda - France (Centre)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33691) - you deserved it (14873)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42512) - you deserved it (17747)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML

#16063941
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32015) - you deserved it (7481)

On 05/06/2011 at 1:15am - work - by Tyler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39260) - you deserved it (3996)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34490) - you deserved it (13164)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (31542)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50430) - you deserved it (41786)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

#14838369
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (6369)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:01am - kids - by dancer101 (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30828) - you deserved it (19953) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins



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