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The Thumb strikes back
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58993) - you deserved it (30946)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went out to dinner with my brother. There was a very attractive man sitting a few tables away who kept glancing at me. When my brother excused himself to the bathroom, the man worked up the courage to come over and introduce himself to me. He asked me if my brother was single. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52938) - you deserved it (3422)
On 06/21/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139359) - you deserved it (32524)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (206986) - you deserved it (10108)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46271) - you deserved it (7882)
On 04/23/2009 at 6:45am - misc - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62983) - you deserved it (20359)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31117) - you deserved it (100275)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my siblings came home for the weekend. At dinner, my dad started complaining at how one of my siblings had gotten fired, one was failing college, and the other was gay. He went on to say I was 17 and already had a bright future. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41070) - you deserved it (46705)
On 04/03/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (188546) - you deserved it (21064)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75844) - you deserved it (2530)
On 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm - animals - by LJ (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (109705) - you deserved it (14719)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (147098) - you deserved it (8922)
On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56444) - you deserved it (13724)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56444) - you deserved it (13724)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:10am - misc - by astroloser (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket. When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man and I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (118840)
On 03/07/2009 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Mulee (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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