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paintedchocolate

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paintedchocolate

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 12 December 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1596
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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paintedchocolate's page activity

Visits<b>cryssycakesx3</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:44am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>annmarie_124</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:36am<b>tralala453</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 9:09pm<b>foxychik10704</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 9:45pm<b>Panguslicker</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 1:03am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 11:20am<b>jfb420</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 4:10pm<b>hoffmanam</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 3:25pm<b>luebbe</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 11:54pm<b>BlendedSupreme</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm<b>magicmarco</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 12:03pm<b>zango1</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 8:10am

paintedchocolate's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of paintedchocolate's badges

paintedchocolate's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30381) - you deserved it (3422)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31480) - you deserved it (5449)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31505) - you deserved it (4769)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

#17176050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27560) - you deserved it (6088)

On 07/19/2011 at 11:19am - work - by Bill Harrison - United States

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

#17089969
511 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132265) - you deserved it (7358)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML

#16639445
449 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48259) - you deserved it (5575)

On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44184) - you deserved it (3126)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (14864)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (17739)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML

#16063941
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (7477)

On 05/06/2011 at 1:15am - work - by Tyler (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39216) - you deserved it (3989)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (13159)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (31527)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50392) - you deserved it (41758)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I met my daughter's boyfriend, who she hopes to marry. I asked what he does, to which he answered, "I'm a Flamencologist." Flamencology? The study of Flamenco? Huh? FML

#14838369
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22787) - you deserved it (6366)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:01am - kids - by dancer101 (woman) - United States



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